3 Years Old

My three year old continues to keep me on my toes. That’s right – she just turned three!

We started potty training back in November. Things went really well, overall, though getting her to go #2 on the toilet was a challenge. But, we persisted, and she eventually got it, and was what I would consider fully day trained within a few months. However…. About a month ago she started having accidents again, wetting her pants several times a day, shortly after having gone in the toilet. We explored all the reasons we could think of, including having her checked for a bowel blockage and UTI, both negative. It seems the problem is behavioral, though I still can’t pinpoint what exactly is going on. Nothing has changed in our lives; there’s no clear reason why she would suddenly be having accidents. The only thing I can think of is that she’s simply being lazy and not emptying her bladder completely when she does go, or she’s just too distracted to even realize that she needs to go. It really is mysterious, which makes it hard to fix. We’re working on approaching it with positivity and not letting her see our frustration, but it’s hard, especially since we know she can do it.

On a more positive note, she’s actually sleeping through the night most nights! I can’t tell you how or why – it just happened. After years of struggling, she just started sleeping. Naps are now a thing of the past (except for once or twice a week at daycare), which, oddly enough, does not have an effect on how well she sleeps. Not napping usually means an earlier bedtime, but I honestly can’t attribute the not napping to the sleeping through the night.

Imaginative play is really starting to take off. She loves to take care of her babies: comforting them, feeding them, putting them to bed. She adores Peppa Pig, and has quite the collection of figures and accessories, with which she creates all kinds of stories and scenarios.

She’s taking an interest in learning to write letters and numbers. Thankfully, there’s an app for that (probably quite a few apps, actually, but we really love LetterSchool), and she’s getting quite good at it. She can’t quite write her name yet, but she can spell it and type it.

One of the things I love the most is that we can now have real conversations. I can ask her what she did that day at daycare, how she felt about it, and what she would like to do in the future, and she will have answers for almost all of it. When we read books, she likes to talk about the stories when we’re done.

C has been going to gymnastics/tumbling once a week since May, and has recently graduated to the next level, which means she won’t have my help anymore. She will need to pay attention to the coaches on her own. Her first class is tonight, and I’m a little nervous about how she’ll do.

Current obsessions:

  • Peppa Pig
  • Llama Llama books
  • the color green
  • her iPad

Long story short: C is a super awesome kid! She’s growing and changing every day. It doesn’t make me sad, though. I love seeing her change and grow, learn and gain independence. My parenting dream has always been about raising a good human, and though there was lots I loved about the baby stage, most of that was about survival. Now, it’s all about showing her how the world works and helping her find her place in it.

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Year One

I know every parent says this, but I can hardly believe that my daughter is a year old already!

Just two years ago, on the cusp of IVF, we didn’t know if we would ever be parents. IVF was a scary thought – a lot of money for a small chance at parenthood. It was our last resort, we had decided together. My RE didn’t give us great odds – with my low AMH, she said we could expect 4-5 eggs, and possibly have one embryo to transfer, nothing to freeze. We were elated when they retrieved 9 eggs, transferred 2 embryos, and froze 3. That two week wait was the craziest emotional roller coaster ride of my journey, by far. When we learned that both embryos implanted, I was pretty shocked. One was only half the size of the other, so we pretty much knew that twins weren’t in our immediate future right away, but still I think back to that time and get a little sad that I basically had another blighted ovum. My medical chart still mentions something about a twin pregnancy, but the whole idea that I almost had twins is a bit surreal to me. If this had been a “normal” (i.e. non-IVF pregnancy), I wouldn’t have even known about the twin, most likely.

But back to the topic at hand. I have a one year old. A toddler! She is simply amazing. I love watching her work things out on her own, like figuring out how to stand up without help, and fitting different shapes into the right spaces. I keep expecting her to get frustrated with her lack of coordination and tactile agility, and sometimes she does, but not often. Already I see that she prefers to figure things out on her own, and that she won’t accept help unless she asks for it.

Even though I hate when people call her this, my daughter is a mama’s girl. She makes it known that she wants no one except me, and she won’t let me leave a room – or even cross one – without her. She can wander away from me, but if I take a step away from her, boy, do I hear about it! I love that she’s so attached to me, but it makes things really difficult, like leaving her with a babysitter, or even with her dad. I can’t get much done around the house, which causes tension between me and my husband. In the grand scheme of things, it’s not a big deal, but day to day, it’s a struggle. Soon, she will be more independent, and I’ll be longing for the days she wanted only me.

The most surprising thing to come out of this past year is that I don’t lack instinct after all! I always used to snark when people talked about following their gut, but my gut instinct has served me very well during this past year. It told me that my daughter had more than a cold – it turned out to be RSV and she needed a nebulizer to help her breathe. It told me that letting her cry it out to sleep was not right for us, despite her doctor and others telling me that we needed to do it if we ever wanted to sleep again. There are other examples, but these were the big ones. I am so much more confident now that I know what is best for my daughter and my family. That’s huge for me!