This Doesn’t Feel Like Winning

I never win. Raffles, sweepstakes, lottery, door prizes… Whatever the avenue, however low the total number of entrants, I’ve never been chosen as a winner. Ever. Until today.

You know those useless reward codes on diapers? I faithfully entered them in the hopes of one day getting enough points to trade them for something cool. When I realized that wasn’t going to happen, that I needed to buy far more than I needed in order to get the points, I decided to burn them all as contest entries.

One of those contests was for a year’s worth of diapers and wipes. This was in the Before Time (as in, before I lost the baby). Well… I won. The company sent me an affidavit to fill out and everything. But I declined.

I thought about accepting and donating the coupons (that’s how I would get my prize, as 70 coupons), but I would still be on the hook for the taxes on the value of my winnings. We already pay in on tax day. Not to mention, much like getting baby samples in the mail post-loss, I just don’t want to deal with this. We’re done with diapers. Forever.

Shit. Of course this would be literally the only time I win something.

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