It’s Not About the Money

It’s not, it’s really not, but when I think about all the money invested in our FET cycle, plus the cost to terminate, I cringe. And it doesn’t help that we received an unexpected bill for $3,085* from the RE for our May FET. (Yeah, the FET that resulted in the baby we just lost.) It’s like being kicked when you’re already down.

I know many people spend tens of thousands of dollars on multiple failed cycles. I know this, and I realize that we are lucky that we technically have not had a failed IVF or FET cycle. But, when I add it all up…. It’s a tough pill to swallow.

$6,145 – prepayment to RE for FET cycle

$2,275  – for medications

$2,060 – additional due to RE for unplanned costs

$1,900 – clinic costs for termination (not covered by insurance)

$2,120 – flight for 2 to the Big City

$217 – 2 nights at a shitty hotel in the Big City

$200 – food and misc. in the Big City

$14,917 total

Ouch. This list doesn’t include travel costs for FET, or fees for local clinic and lab services that I had done during my FET cycle. Nor does it include the wages lost by my husband for all the appointments and days off for travel. (The bulk of his salary is in production – he gets some paid leave, but it’s peanuts compared to what he would actually make if he was working.)

This is why we’re hesitant to do another FET, even though we still have two embryos. It will be at least another $10,000, with no guarantees. We’re not broke, but another FET in the next year or so would be a stretch.

And that makes me angry. I fucking hate infertility, because it doesn’t matter what route to parenthood we choose, it still costs a fucking insane amount of money for us to have even a chance at another child. I hate this for everyone with infertility. I understand that things like IVF and adoption (and all the other options) can’t be free. In fact, I’m happy to compensate people for their professional services. But, shit, when you think of all the money you spend for just the chance, no guarantees…. It’s so unfair.

* I managed to negotiate the bill down to $2,060 by arguing that we shouldn’t have to pay the re-freezing fee due to the clinic’s mistake. I may have also played the “my baby just died” card. But I’m all out of fucks to give.

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2 thoughts on “It’s Not About the Money

  1. Ugh. Make that 15,000 “ugh”s. I’m sorry. It is a fucking travesty, and I will never stop fighting for better, more fair treatment than this absolute shit bastard system. You don’t even know all the nerves you’ve hit with this, and I too am COMPLETELY OUT of fucks to give. I am thinking of you and with you, sister. xo

  2. I agree with compensating people for their professional opinions/services, but I will never be ok with infertility treatment being so expensive. I don’t think it’s fair that people cannot have the family they want due to their pocketbooks. I’m so sorry that you’re having to play the number game to see if you can add to your family.

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