I want to thank everyone for their support after my last post. It feels good to know that I’m not alone in how I feel and the thoughts I have now that I’m “parenting after infertility.” I’m happy to report that things have calmed down since that post. I don’t feel as though I’m living in an X-Files episode anymore, though I do still have the occasional panicky moment about losing C and/or my husband. I think it’s still in the range of normal, though. I mean, doesn’t everyone who loves someone fear losing them? It’s not a fear that consumes me or keeps me from enjoying my life. It’s just one of those things that sometimes crosses my mind.
Anyway… on to other things.
C is doing very well. Growing like a weed and changing every day. She turned four months old on Christmas day. It’s amazing to see how far she has come in just four months, not only physically, but how she has developed a distinct personality. We’re currently struggling with a growth spurt and sleep regression, which wouldn’t be so bad except I’ve been sick with a horrible head cold for two weeks now. While I love our one-on-one time, I wouldn’t mind a little less of it in the middle of the night. She also has a terrible case of thrush on her neck, which, while I understand it’s largely out of my control, still makes me feel like a horrible mother.
A few weeks ago we received a letter telling us that our remaining embryos were transferred from our local clinic to long-term storage. Just another quiet reminder that this whole infertility thing never goes away.