Dear Little Ones,
If you stick around for a good 9 months or so, I promise:
to let you stay up as late as you want
to buy you a pony
to let you eat all the ice cream
to let you play video games all day and night
to teach you how to use sharp knives
to never make you clean up your room
to let you run through the lawn sprinklers with your clothes on
to let you always pick what movies we watch
to take the very best care of you, physically, emotionally, and spiritually
to teach you everything I know and to learn about everything else right alongside you.
My embryo transfer went off without a hitch. M couldn’t make the trip, so my mom accompanied me. She was so excited and amazed and hopeful. Even though I wish M could have been there, too, I’m really glad my mom could share this experience with me. She even brought my grandpa’s gold watch and my great-grandmother’s gold wedding band for me to wear for good luck. (Both of which I forgot at the clinic when I took them off to get dressed. Not to worry: we retrieved them the next day before heading home.) I was also sporting my lucky transfer socks sent to me from a lovely Twitter friend, Aislinn. With so much luck on my side, this just has to be it, right?
Afterwards, my mom and I relaxed in the hotel for a few hours, then drove across the street for sushi. After that, we gabbed for hours before falling asleep. I forgot how much I love our talks. She lives in the same town, but we just don’t spend much time together. That will have to change soon.
The details: Before the transfer, the RE showed me the embryo report. We had one full blastocyst (which basically just means that the embryo developed for 5 days after egg retrieval) and 4 early blastocysts (just a bit behind the full one) – both Grade 1 – and then a handful of underdeveloped Grade 2 & 3. (Remember, 9 fertilized.) The full blast and one of the early blasts were transferred (one got assisted hatching, but I’m not sure which), and the rest were allowed to continue growing to see if they could be frozen. Well, the next day I got the call – we have 3 frozen embryos!
I am thrilled and shocked. I am simply not used to so much good news. I hope it doesn’t sound like I’m bragging. I’m still incredibly anxious about how this will all turn out. To be honest, I expect disaster around every corner. I’m trying desperately to curb the negative thoughts, but I think they will always be there.
So, now we wait. My beta is scheduled for December 19, which happens to be my nephew’s 5th birthday. M and I are going to his party that evening. My family – sisters, mom, brother-in-law – all know that it’s a big day for me, so I’m kind of feeling the pressure. I don’t want to be responsible for bringing the mood down, or stealing my nephew’s thunder. (He is so adorable. On his brother’s birthday a couple of weeks ago, he kept saying, I want it to be my birthday! and he tried to negotiate with his mom to move it earlier on the calendar. How cute is that?) I can’t very well say nothing at all. Or can I? Perhaps I should just tell them I didn’t get the results yet. Or tell them earlier in the day? It’s entirely possible that I’m way over-thinking this.
As far as symptoms/side effects from the retrieval: Minor AF-like aching and a few twinges so faint I was probably imagining them. I’ve had a few bouts of some pretty intense cramping, but twice it was followed by a bowel movement (you’re welcome), so I thought maybe it was just my stupid IBS. But it just happened again, for about 5 minutes, with no urge to go. A good sign? I sure hope so!