I Hate Money

Specifically, I hate never having enough. Okay, we have enough to live comfortably, but not enough to live comfortably and add another member to our family. I can’t begin to express how angry and sad it makes me that money (or lack thereof) may prevent us from becoming parents. It’s just. so. wrong. But it is what it is, and I have to deal with it. I’ll whine all day long about it, though.


Over the last few days, I’ve spent hours on the phone and emailing with my insurance company and clinic to figure out just how much this one IVF cycle will set us back. It’s remarkably difficult to come up with an accurate number, mostly due to the fact that it’s impossible to know exactly which medications and how much I will need until we actually start this whole process. I have a pretty good idea – I think. And I think we can swing it with the little cash we have on hand. Our clinic is willing to work with us to set up a payment plan for any charges not covered by insurance, so that will be a big help.

As a back up, I called my credit card company to see if I could get a modest increase in our credit limit. Two questions and 30 seconds later, I was approved for more than double what I had expected. Now, I’m not talking tens of thousands of dollars – the total limit is still probably fairly modest compared to most people – but it’s the highest I’ve ever had. I’m happy we have it as a last resort method of payment, but I still have a knot in my stomach about it.

You see, I haven’t always been the most responsible person when it comes to money. I’ve repaired all the financial damage I did in college and graduate school, but it took a long time. It’s not something I want to do again. Ever. All this stressing out over money the last few days has left me feeling sick to my stomach.

12 thoughts on “I Hate Money

  1. I feel your pain …. it really makes no sense to me that insurance doesn’t cover this stuff. I actually had an insurance lady tell me that “if it were a medical reason, they would cover it… but infertility reasons, they don’t”. REEEEALLY? This isn’t considered medical? Ridiculous. Anyway, $$ is the reason we’re backing off from pursuing further options. I just can’t quit life like we have the last couple of years. it’s a really tough decision to make tho…. and I definitely get the sick to your stomach feeling.

  2. Because the the particularly tough year I’ve had, we’ve been saving just in case that’s where it’s headed. How do people afford all of this? I don’t even know! It’s horrible that having a child has come down to whether or not you have enough money. It does suck.

  3. Bingo!

    This inequity is what riles me up the most about IF. Hands down.

    Add to this the fact that countless women are walking around with undiagnosed severe quality-of-life-impacting concrete medical issues (PCOS, endometriosis, etc.) that just so happen to also cause infertility that will never be diagnosed because diagnostic testing is not covered under IF insurance loopholes and it gets me riotously angry.


  4. Ugh, I hate stressing over money. We saved for YEARS for our first round of IVF. And when it didn’t work, I thought we were done. I still hate that we had to ask Hubby’s family for money so we could move on with IVF #2, but I’m really, really grateful they were able to help us out. It just sucks that it’s so expensive, and there are absolutely no guarantees.

  5. I hate money too, I always thought I would wait till we had a little more to try and have kids, that never happened. I am very fortunate that my insurance does cover IVF 4 per lifetime. However I have already had 3 failed ones. Along with 4 other failed procedures. I hope and pray that this last one will work, as we are running out of money(for what is not covered). My father has offered to pay for an egg donor for us. Which we will do in Jan if our November fet doesn’t work. Best of luck to you.

  6. You are so right, worrying about money SUCKS. And it’s just another insult that adds to the initial injury caused by infertility- other people can do this so easily and so many take it for granted. We have to be poked, prodded, injected, vagina-wanded AND we have to pay for it out the wazoo just for the chance to have a baby. Just SUCKS!

    I am glad that your clinic is working with you and that your credit cards have upped your options. It’s a start. /MMB

  7. I get so mad every time I read about this issue. I really don’t like that having babies, but also some medical treatments in general, can come down to whether you have enough money. And I also hate that despite the high costs there are no guarantees. I hope everything will go for the best for you!

  8. From over the pond ……. I really feel for you guys my husband and I are having fertility problems all our tests are free and we get 3 goes at IVF free! In the UK we really moan about the NHS long waiting lists etc … But everything medical we get free through our taxes of course! If I couldn’t get it free no baby simple I couldn’t afford it. Lack of money sucks! X

    • There are definite pros and cons to both systems. I’m lucky in that we have some insurance coverage for IF…. Many in the US do not. And we don’t have to wait. We have our pick of any clinic in the country (in theory), though for financial reasons, we’re stuck using the closest one. Still, it’s disheartening knowing that the average is 3 cycles before a successful pregnancy, and we can afford only one.

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