Running from Babies and Bumps

Lately, my chiropractor’s office has become an unsafe place when it comes to triggers and coping with the crapfest that is infertility. Two of the four support staff members are pregnant, and that’s all anyone can talk about, it seems. Not to mention all the other pregnant bellies that float in and out while I hold back the tears waiting for my turn on the table. And, let’s not forget that my chiropractor’s husband (who is also a chiropractor), tried to hand me their baby the last time I was there. (I shook my head and bolted for the bathroom, in case you were wondering.)

I’ve been with this doctor for 4 years. She’s my age, she always listens well to my health issues, and she takes great care of me. I love my chiropractor, despite her uber-fertility (she has 3 kids under the age of 4), and despite the fact that she brought each of her babies to work with her for the first 6 months of their lives*. (The first one was before my miscarriage and infertility problems.) So, in a way, it’s always been a place with bellies and babies. Somehow, I managed to handle it well enough until now. Maybe it’s just because I’ve had to see her 3 times in the last 2 weeks that it’s bothering me lately. Maybe now that I will be going back to my monthly visits, it will be okay. Or, maybe I need to find a new chiropractor.

Is this an overreaction? Is it silly for me to consider dumping my beloved chiropractor, evenly temporarily, just because I want to cry when I see all the pregnant people? I’m sure I could get the same quality of care with someone else. There’s no shortage of chiropractors in this town, that’s for sure. But it takes time to establish the level of rapport I have with her, and switching won’t guarantee that the next office will be free of triggers. Plus, switching is a pain – all the new patient paperwork, new x-rays, long initial appointment. And I can’t just not go to a chiropractor, because my stupid hips think that their natural state should be somewhat rotated, which twists the rest of my body out of whack.

All I know for sure is that I feel awful when I go to that office. I get tense and crabby. I want to scream at the people who ooh and aah over the baby bumps and babies. Sigh. But, like I said, running from the problem won’t guarantee that I won’t find the exact same thing somewhere else.

I guess the only thing to do is work harder on my coping skills. The world is full of triggers that I can’t possibly avoid, at least not without becoming a recluse. As wonderful as that would be, I have way too many financial obligations to pursue it full time.

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* I fully support the practice of bring baby to work. I wish more companies encouraged it. I’m hoping my organization will allow me to bring my baby to the office, should I be lucky enough to get pregnant. (We don’t have an official policy.) But it sure does make me sad when I see people cooing over babies.

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12 thoughts on “Running from Babies and Bumps

  1. I personally would switch chiropractors for awhile. You are right, there are TONS of triggers that we just can’t avoid when we go out into the world (and believe me, I’d become a recluse if I could), but I do think it’s good for us to take care of ourselves and not regularly put ourselves in a situation that’s painful if there’s a reasonable way to avoid it. I’m sure your chiropractor will understand and maybe she can even offer up a way to help?

    Also, if you are tense while receiving your adjustments, do they work as well? I know I had to be pretty relaxed or it was like I hadn’t really gone to the chiro at all a few hours later. Good luck with your decision!

    • I can usually relax enough once I get in the room alone with her. She is really laid back and has a calming voice. 🙂 I’m sure she would understand my situation, but it’s hard for me to ask for help or special consideration. I know – I need to learn!

  2. I totally understand where you’re coming from, but like you said, you don’t know that this same problem won’t happen at another office. I think you have to weigh the pros and cons and see if moving your care to another office would be worth the paperwork and new x-rays.

    Perhaps you could talk to your chiropractor, tell her that seeing the babies is making you tense and upset, therefore making your appointments less effective, and see if she can schedule you for the very first or last appointment where there might be less people around?

    Either way, I hope things work out for you. It’s hard to find good care and I hope that you don’t have to sacrifice your doctor because of the babies.

    • Great points! I asked for the very first appointment of the day, but she’s still on her maternity schedule, which means her earliest is 10 am, latest 3:30, which is hugely inconvenient for me. She should be going back to her regular schedule fairly soon, though.

      • I was going to suggest the same thing–going where there’s less likely to be a waiting room full of bellies. I know how you feel, though. I had to stop going to the farmers’ market with my husband for the very same reason.

  3. I’m sorry even going to your chiropractor has become a painful task:( Honestly, I think you should wait and see if things get better when you go back to not seeing her so often- if you switch you might run into the same problem with the next office.

    • Yeah, it sucks that infertility makes everything much more difficult.

      That’s the option I’m leaning towards. I don’t want to make any rash decisions while I’m freshly upset. If I’m feeling anxious before my next appointment, I will call and ask to have it changed to a time when they aren’t really busy, as Aislinn suggested.

  4. Is there any way you could go for instance early in the morning or late in the evening so you cross less people? I don’t have a strong opinion on what to do, but I do understand the issue since I’ve often had the same problem.

  5. Ugghh…I totally know how you feel, my yoga studio has become just like this. One of my favorite instructors is about to pop, along with half the students in any given class. Luckily my husband usually comes to yoga classes with me so we just roll our eyes at people together. Not sure if that helps you though….

  6. I can relate to your feelings, be open with how you feel she may make some changes for when you have an appointment.

  7. While it’s true that we can’t run away from pregnant bellies because they are everywhere, I would worry that you aren’t getting the most out of your appointments if you are stressed/upset every time you go into the office. Maybe switching to another chiro for a few months would be helpful?

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