Lately, my chiropractor’s office has become an unsafe place when it comes to triggers and coping with the crapfest that is infertility. Two of the four support staff members are pregnant, and that’s all anyone can talk about, it seems. Not to mention all the other pregnant bellies that float in and out while I hold back the tears waiting for my turn on the table. And, let’s not forget that my chiropractor’s husband (who is also a chiropractor), tried to hand me their baby the last time I was there. (I shook my head and bolted for the bathroom, in case you were wondering.)
I’ve been with this doctor for 4 years. She’s my age, she always listens well to my health issues, and she takes great care of me. I love my chiropractor, despite her uber-fertility (she has 3 kids under the age of 4), and despite the fact that she brought each of her babies to work with her for the first 6 months of their lives*. (The first one was before my miscarriage and infertility problems.) So, in a way, it’s always been a place with bellies and babies. Somehow, I managed to handle it well enough until now. Maybe it’s just because I’ve had to see her 3 times in the last 2 weeks that it’s bothering me lately. Maybe now that I will be going back to my monthly visits, it will be okay. Or, maybe I need to find a new chiropractor.
Is this an overreaction? Is it silly for me to consider dumping my beloved chiropractor, evenly temporarily, just because I want to cry when I see all the pregnant people? I’m sure I could get the same quality of care with someone else. There’s no shortage of chiropractors in this town, that’s for sure. But it takes time to establish the level of rapport I have with her, and switching won’t guarantee that the next office will be free of triggers. Plus, switching is a pain – all the new patient paperwork, new x-rays, long initial appointment. And I can’t just not go to a chiropractor, because my stupid hips think that their natural state should be somewhat rotated, which twists the rest of my body out of whack.
All I know for sure is that I feel awful when I go to that office. I get tense and crabby. I want to scream at the people who ooh and aah over the baby bumps and babies. Sigh. But, like I said, running from the problem won’t guarantee that I won’t find the exact same thing somewhere else.
I guess the only thing to do is work harder on my coping skills. The world is full of triggers that I can’t possibly avoid, at least not without becoming a recluse. As wonderful as that would be, I have way too many financial obligations to pursue it full time.
* I fully support the practice of bring baby to work. I wish more companies encouraged it. I’m hoping my organization will allow me to bring my baby to the office, should I be lucky enough to get pregnant. (We don’t have an official policy.) But it sure does make me sad when I see people cooing over babies.