All Aboard the Crazy Train! Cycle Update

I don’t have many “rules” for what I will and won’t post on my blog, but in general, I don’t like to get too bogged down in the details of my cycle. It’s not that interesting, to be honest. That said, I haven’t posted much of an update in a while, and this particular cycle is all kinds of frustrating, so here we go.

I started my fourth Femara cycle on February 6. Because I responded well to 10mg the previous two cycles, it was a no-brainer to take the same dose again. Well, this time my ovaries decided to be jerks about the whole thing. At my first scan, I had two small follicles on one ovary (whereas in the past two cycles, I have had at least one mature follicle by then). After four more days on Femara, my next scan showed some growth, but still not enough to trigger. ARGH! My lining was pathetic, too, so I started taking estrogen. Today, I returned for a third monitoring scan. (That makes four transvaginal ultrasounds in a two-week period, for those keeping score.) Finally, some good news! The follicles continued to grow, although none are yet mature. But it was close enough that my RE feels comfortable having me trigger on Friday. The really good news is that my lining was just over 9 mm (up from 4.5 just two days ago). Thickest I’ve ever had! In the past, it’s been only half that before triggering. My RE attributed the rapid thickening to the vaginal doses of estrogen I started taking two days ago. (Previously, I had only taken it orally.) I guess I can’t complain about all the things I have to put in my vagina anymore, because it seems to be working out pretty well.

Even though this was a relatively small hiccup in the grand scheme of things, it’s left me with even less faith in my body. I think the reason I’m so frustrated is because the second anniversary of my one and only positive pregnancy test–March 16–is fast approaching. Only one more shot to get pregnant before that milestone passes again. It seems impossible that it will be two years already. We should be trying to conceive our second child now, not still working on the first.

The totally kooky reason I’m in a tizzy: The one and only time I’ve ever been pregnant, I ovulated around February 25. At the rate things are moving, I will likely ovulate again around February 25. That means, if I get pregnant this cycle, I’ll have a due date within just a day or two of my failed pregnancy. Of course, I will be thrilled to be pregnant whenever, but I’m not crazy about the idea of such an exact do over, two years later. Know what I mean? Am I off my rocker? Maybe don’t answer that just yet.

I’m not superstitious, I swear! I recognize that ovulating on the same date two years apart is mere coincidence. It’s not a statistical¬†anomaly. It’s not even remarkable in any way. I just can’t get over the fact that, had my ovaries responded the way they did in the past, I would have ovulated days ago, and not given the dates a second thought.

Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself again. I haven’t even laid an egg yet, and already I’m thinking about my due date. This crazy train is out of control.

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