When the movie What to Expect When You’re Expecting first came out in May 2012, it had been one year since my miscarriage. I was faithfully attending acupuncture appointments and taking expensive Chinese herbs. We had just started testing for infertility: HSG, lots of blood work, and an SA for hubby. There was no way in hell I was going to watch that movie, despite my secret love for cheesy romantic comedies and my girl-crush on Cameron Diaz. Turns out, my instincts were right.
Fastforward to today. I figured it would be “safe” to watch the movie now. In some ways it was safer now, but in many ways, this movie still made me feel bad. Since it’s nearly 2 years old, I don’t believe I need to say spoiler alert, but I will anyway.
What are you waiting for? I already said it.
The movie follows 5 couples who find themselves on the brink of parenthood. First (and these are in no particular order) we have the infertile couple who has been trying for 2 years and hasn’t started treatments yet. They decide to take a break, get drunk, have sex in the park, and boom – pregnant. Because, of course. When they share the good news with his dad, they find out dad’s trophy wife is also pregnant… with twins… and they weren’t even trying. That sounds about right. Then there’s the infertile couple pursuing adoption. They have one home visit, during which they are told it would be a year or more before a baby is available. A couple weeks later, they get The Call. Because that always happens in real life. Couple #4 gets pregnant from a one night stand. Unfortunately, she has a miscarriage which breaks them up, even though they weren’t really going out to begin with. In the end she says she’s not sad, because she’ll have another chance to have a baby when she’s ready. Because it only takes a couple of months to get over a miscarriage. Couple #5 is way famous in this movie world. They get pregnant “accidentally” after being together for just a few months. Their biggest disagreement is whether to have their son circumcised. It almost breaks them up. But then she gives birth and it turns out the ultrasound tech was wrong – it’s a girl! Problem solved. Because life loves to work out just right like that.
It wasn’t all terrible. There was one very touching scene that captured the adoption ceremony in Ethiopia. I appreciated the fairly real and accurate reactions of the infertile couple when they learn about dad and step-mom’s twin pregnancy. But that’s about it. The whole thing was flat, shallow, and boring, even though one of the moms nearly dies after her c-section. (She ends up just fine. They don’t really address what went wrong.) I know it has to be difficult to accurately portray infertility in a movie, especially in a movie that’s all about pregnancy. And dealing with miscarriage in a movie that’s supposed to be funny has to be even more impossible. But it’s like they didn’t even try. Also, they totally ignored the fact that not all infertility journeys end with a baby. In fact, both infertile couples get lucky. Then again, it was a movie about pregnancy. I guess? I’m still not sure what the point of it was.
Don’t see this movie. Ever.
15 Weeks Update
How far along: 15 weeks (due date August 28)
Total weight gain/loss: -5 lbs from pre-pregnancy weight (It was as low as -7.5 during the last few weeks.)
- Nausea is improving, but I still have it, especially when I’m hungry.
- I still don’t have much appetite, hence the weight loss.
- Still tired all the time, though that seems to be improving a tiny bit.
- Still very emotional.
- If I don’t brace myself before sneezing, I get a terrible pain in my lower ab muscles.
- Constant heartburn.
Maternity clothes: I stopped wearing the belly band (it wasn’t working well), and switched to maternity pants. So comfortable! I’m acquiring maternity tops one or two at a time to round out my wardrobe. I can’t just wear larger tops, since I’m tall. I need the extra length provided by maternity clothes.
Stretch marks: None yet.
Sleep: Sleep is okay. I have a hard time waking up some mornings.
Best moment: Every time I hear the heartbeat on the Doppler, it’s the best thing ever! It’s so reassuring to find it more easily.
Movement: Too early. (You better bet I’m paying close attention!)
Food cravings: Still no real cravings. I favor salads with pickled beets and honey mustard dressing for lunch, peanut butter wraps and a glass of milk for breakfast (or anytime, really), and by the time dinner rolls around, I’m too irritated and tired to want anything, though I will pretty much eat anything you put in front of me.
Sex of the baby: We will know soon! I had my blood draw for the Verifi test yesterday, which, in addition to assessing our risk of Down syndrome, Trisomy 18 and Trisomy 13, will also tell us the baby’s sex. My instinct says girl. My mom, sisters, and aunts agree. I’ll be surprised if there’s not a girl in there!
Labor signs: None.
Belly button: No change; still an innie.
What I miss: Enjoying food.
What I look forward to: Feeling movement and finally getting my second tri burst of energy.
Baby buys: Still nothing, and I’ve been too tired to work on the knitted blanket.
Milestones: I’ve started interviewing doulas. So far, it’s been a very positive experience.
More and more, I’m feeling confident about this pregnancy. I’m so very grateful that I haven’t had any problems or severe symptoms. I send out silent wishes every day that my luck continues.